Encontrando nuestra manera

Our house

2012-01-27T09:39:00.002-06:00

Transition gift

2012-01-27T09:13:00.000-06:00

My sweet sister Katie sent us a Christmas gift which includes a sensory activity/ritual for each of our last five months here, and will help us with the re-entry process. She knit these beautiful pockets and sewed them onto black felt. We have one pocket to open for each month. Each month gives us some tools for a family activity that will help us process and let go of this beautiful place.

This month was sight. We each got a brand new bright Sharpie and we have created posters all over the house where we continue to create lists of things we love about Colombia, what we want to bring with us, what we want to do before we leave, what we are looking forward to in the US.

Each day, we add to these lists. It has already helped the kids, reminding them that it will be hard to say goodbye, that there are parts of this country that will always stay with them, and they there is so much to look forward to when we return home (like blueberries, sweet corn, and swimming in Michigan lakes).

Katie created these beautiful tools, and I already know that they will be a significant and meaningful part of our family processing in preparation for the new adventures to come.

I can't wait to open the next pocket.

Three Years Ago

2012-01-27T08:55:00.001-06:00

This was us. I remember feeling anxious. I remember feeling emotionally drained. I remember wondering why we were doing this; that it was crazy to leave our jobs, our home, our friends, and our little community.

I also felt held. Held my the comfort and hard work of friends who came to help me. Held by the confidence and clarity of my husband. Held by the willingness of my three sweet children, who were all ready to embark on this great adventure. Held by the understanding that in the end,

this. would. be. good.

And now, I am grateful.

The best New Year's Surprise Ever

2012-01-27T08:50:00.001-06:00

We tried really hard to keep it a secret. We ALMOST did it. By later in the evening, Lydia was quite suspicious. "Why is it so important to clean your house just to bring the New Year in?" "What was the extra bedding doing in our music room?"

"Why aren't going away to celebrate New Year's with friends?"

Oh, the joy. Once again, Grandma, Uncle, and Cousin-love filled our house. We showed them around, enjoyed a plethora of yummy food and good conversation, and played and played and played.

There is nothing quite like a visit from Grandma.

Or the goofiness of a fun cousin who can show you all kinds of new youtube videos,

soccer moves, and songs.

This was a week we will never forget.

It is visits like these that keep us going.

Anniversary Hike in Suesca

2012-01-27T08:30:00.003-06:00

The countryside in Colombia is really, really beautiful. And the weather was simply perfect for a hike. So, we packed a lunch, a friend and took off to explore and get some nature therapy. What we thought would be a two hour hike turned into a seven hour hike, but we all came back happier and more relaxed.

Here we go, 2012

2011-12-31T15:02:00.000-06:00

12 foods to eat MORE of...
quinoa
sweet potatoes
blueberries
ghee
green tea
spinach
guayaba
granola
nuts
grapefruit
cheese
yogurt

12 books to read...
The Midwife's Tale by Gretchen Moren Laskas
Mighty Be Our Powers by Leymah Gbowee
The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver
All is Grace: A Biography of Dorothy Day by Jim Forest
Present Tense by Gordon Houser
Ecomind: Changing the way we think to create the world we want by Frances Moore Lappe
Marriage Rules, by Harriet Lerner
What color is the Sacred? By Michael Taussig
Play by Stuart Brown
Everyone is Beautiful by Katherine Center
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Art of Coming Home by Craig Storti

12 things to do MORE OFTEN
smile
express gratitude
try new recipes
craft with the kids
play guitar
call my siblings
pay attention
take my vitamins
say yes
ask questions
write
garden

12 things to do LESS OFTEN
check for blog comments
facebook fidgeting
bite my nails
drink coffee
TV before bed
spiritual ADD
stain my clothes
spend money
wear glasses
worry
ride the Transmillenio
skip lunch

12 new people to invite to your house for dinner
(to be determined)

Seventeen years ago

2011-12-29T14:05:00.002-06:00

This is how it started.

Happy Anniversary, Aaron.
(thanks for the photo, Karin)

Christmas, 2011

2011-12-29T07:23:00.001-06:00

We had a lovely and very sweet Christmas season, enjoying a fine mix of Colombian traditions and traditions from our own families.

Our family used an Advent calendar this year that was activity-based. It was a good idea, but turned out to be WAY more work for me. I am sure I will re-think this in the future. And because Aaron had to work much longer than we anticipated, several of the activities just did not happen. Here is the list of what we TRIED to do:

1. Christmas concert and laser light show at Monserrate

2. Celebrate 40 years of Dad with French Onion soup and chocolate cake

3. BUCKEYES

4. Family crafting: golden snitches and gratitude wreaths

5. Light a fire, toast almonds, and read Christmas books

6. Play guitar and sing carols together by the tree.

7. Noche de las Velitas

8. City Ice Skating followed by homemade pizza and The Christmas Story

9. Watch Elf and eat popcorn and hot chocolate.

10. Cascanueses (Nutcracker) with Elizabeth and Neil

11. Make treats for teachers and Alex, the doorman

12. Hand and foot rubs with peppermint lotion

13. Paint your nose RED. Eat RED pasta and RED smoothies and watch Rudolf

14. Cut out snowflakes and write a family Christmas letter

15. School Christmas Show

16. Christmas shopping (Elizabeth, Neil, Rebecca, Family Gift) Be creative, resourceful, and thoughtful.

17. Picnic and park play

18. Unplug all day (except Christmas lights) and read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

19. Leave the city for a nature hike in Suesca

20. Go look at lights at the Botanical Garden

21. Movie Matinee Day

22. Decorate cookies

23. Bowling and ice cream

24. Church. Fondue and Vegetable Soup. Neil and Elizabeth. Luke.

25. Gifts. Singing. Christmas Dinner. Games and puzzles. Read.

On December 7 we celebrated Noche de las Velitas. It was a good decision to stay home this year. We invited friends over and enjoyed chili, warm wine, and spiced panela. We lit many, many candles and burnt little pieces of paper with wishes for the Virgin to catch on her way by. Lovely. Abby even convinced several of her little neighbor friends to go door to door caroling (a tradition in the US that she misses very much).

When Aaron was gone for the weekend, Elizabeth and Neil met me and we enjoyed one of the best performance of "The Nutcracker" that I have ever seen. They even gave us free cupcakes, chocolate, and coffee during the breaks.

We enjoyed a lot of city family field trips, including a sand castle display that blew us all away. This is the sand castle "pesebre." (probably 12 feet tall)

And then there were the Novenas. This is a Colombian tradition that we have come to love very much, and plan to try to continue when we are in the states. These nine nights before Christmas (Dec 16-24) include gatherings with friends or family, traditional prayers, carols, yummy snacks, and a bit of the Christmas story.

One of these nights we spend with the parents and classmates of Andy. It was a lovely, fun, evening which included playing in the rain, dancing the merengue, and lots of yummy food.

Another quieter night was spent here at our house with our friends saying prayers and singing together.

Christmas Eve Novena involved the kids getting dressed up and going door to door looking for "room at the inn." Abby was a sheep and loved the drama of it all. They finally ended at the stable where there were songs and prayers read and sung by children and adults alike. It was very moving.

(my friend Elizabeth wrote about Novenas here).

On Christmas day we enjoyed more home made gifts than ever before, treasures sent from our church, family, and friends at home, and a special serenade that made Aaron very, very happy.

Liceo Boston Christmas Show 2011

2011-12-28T07:51:00.000-06:00

Last year Abby was very sad that she did not get to participate in her school Christmas show, due to our visit to the US. That disappointment made this year all the better, as she enthusiastically prepared for her performance.

The theme this year was "Christmas Around the World" and her class was in Britain. Students sang in Portuguese, Spanish, French, and English. They danced too. (She is on the far right in the white cap).

The money and effort put into these show still astounds both Aaron and I. I sat there thinking that Abby might feel a little bored by future Christmas programs when we return.

The students are in full make-up and costumes. The stage had three giant-sized projection screens with laser light effects, and very active smoke machine, and coordinated videos. The hired a professional sound and special effects company. The music was all pre-recorded (by Abby's choir) and LOUD. I mean, LOUD. We easily felt the reverberation of the bass in our seats....no, our whole bodies. My ears HURT. It was so loud that the people around us and the ushers visited with each other by YELLING.

More than 400 performers took the stage that night. It was thrilling, indeed. And while disturbing in some ways (Mrs. Clause was an easy 40 years younger and much sexier than Mr. Clause) the finale brought smoke, lights, bubbles, and confetti as they all sang with joyful enthusiasm. And of course, I cried.

Abby was so. very. happy.

Here she is with the three other girls in her class after the show.

Thank you, Liceo Boston.

A Friend Visit

2011-12-27T10:06:00.000-06:00

We feel very blessed that so many of my family members have come to Colombia to visit us. When we left, so many people from our family, our community, and our church said they wanted to come visit, or they were planning to come visit. Aaron and I had to concentrate hard to release those comments from becoming expectations. We told ourselves over and over that the chances of a friend visit was very, very slim, and not to be planned.

Aaron enjoyed a wonderful and very unexpected visit from a high school friend Beto. We enjoyed visits from former professors and professionals working with CPT here. We visited with church about a delegation visit, which did not work. We continually let go of any expectations of friends coming to visit.

And then she wrote and asked, "When can I come?"

I still could not believe it, until I saw an airplane ticket confirmation number in my inbox.

My good friend Yolanda came to see a bit of our life here, and we had so much fun showing her around!

We went to the produce, flower, and artisan markets. We saw giant avocados and street performers.

We showed her ciclovia and enjoyed Colombian food.

We met her mother for lunch (with very, very unfortunate food poisoning effects...but a LOVELY lunch at the time).

We visited the school and showed her how to get around on the Transmillenio.

We took the best hiking guides we know in Colombia, Elizabeth and Neil and went for a hike in a páramo.

We visited some really big, beautiful, old churches.

We walked together here.

We spent many afternoons in long, contemplative, genuine conversation, usually accompanied by coffee, tea, and maybe chocolate. She asked us so many good, guiding questions. We felt like we got a week's worth of free therapy.

Thank you, sweet friend. I know it was hard to get here. I know it took a lot of time and money and special arrangements. Thank you for knowing this part of our lives.

P.S. I am pretty sure that most of these photos are Yolanda's. They all got mixed into my iphoto account. So, thank you, Yo, for these photos!

Retreat #8: Villeta

2011-12-26T12:05:00.001-06:00

A broken camera and lack of motivation or focus to write has meant a few seriously slow months on this blog. I finally got my camera back, and I am trying to make the commitment to catch up before 2012 and renew my energy to keep writing and reflecting as this term comes to an end. So many of us have changed in so many ways. It is amazing to look back and see it. And despite some nagging feelings of depression, there is still so much to be grateful for.

November always holds my favorite retreat. It is a retreat that usually comes after a longish wait (June-November). It is also the retreat when we celebrate the winter holidays together with our beloved teammates. This November we went a couple hours outside of Bogota to Villeta, where we stayed in a nice, small town in a hotel on a hill. There was a lovely pool, a large meeting room, and plenty of young adults to play with our kids.

We enjoyed a good amount of reflection, one quiet evening in our cabin for reading, comfy hammocks, good food (including real vegetarian options for Lydia), and time to reflect together on so much.

When we returned to Bogota, we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with an abundance of good and familiar food, including turkey, mashed potatoes, apple pie, and cookies. We shared the best singing yet of all our time in MCC, combining traditional carols with Spanish praise songs, harmony, instruments, enthusiasm shared by all.

All of these photos are from Elizabeth Miller. Thank you for sharing them with me!

Joy to the World!

2011-12-23T07:52:00.002-06:00

Our family continues to be ever grateful for time together, for MCC support and mission, for learning to love such a remarkable country, for the love of friends and family, and for so much more.

We wait for the light.

We pay attention.

We long for peace.

2012 will be a year of tremendous transition and new adventures for us.

Each of us spent some time in gratitude for what we have loved in 2011. Blessed be.

Abby: Mia, playing with friends, MCC retreats, gymnastics, cheerleading, award for academic excellence, Ajiaco, Club Penguin Puffles, speaker phone calls with Daniela, Playmobil horse barn, multi-colored flats, school gardening (la huerta), creative writing about "Extrodinaria," crafting, school choir songs in English, Spanish, and Portuguese, Neil and Elizabeth, silver ring from Boyacá, Mia, Mia, Mia, and more Mia.

Jenny: Christmas prayers with school friends, the satisfaction of an academic writing project, hiking, cold waterfalls, a special visit from Yolanda, early morning walks with the dog, the French bakery beside our office, singing new songs, The Gifts of Imperfection, teaching in Spanish, friendly neighbors, The Bogotá Philharmonic Orchestra, packages from home, Henri Nouwen Advent Reflections, morning coffee with Aaron.

Andy: easy communication with friends, school trip to Armenia, making it to the school finals in basketball, Coach Henri, salpicon and ciclovia, a cozy bed, my soccer team, cheap movie outings, cooking new things, hiking in Sopo, school award for strong values and sports, passing all my classes, Piscilago, baby beef, chocolate ice cream from Crepes and Waffles, conjunto friends, skateboarding, piano lessons

Lydia: Mia, the new SEED group, Trip back to the USA in the summer, Expociencias, Swimming, Learning how to make patacon, learning how to play the guitar, skype dates with friends, baby Alana, music camp, my face, being awesome, Psych, New Moon Girls, The Alanna Series.

Aaron: playing soccer, Grooveshark, Cuevana, almost 24hour soccer on TV, trips outside of Bogota, El Paso del Angel, MCC retreats, basketball with school dads, EARLY mornings with Jen, exercise with Mia, connections with friends, reading with the kids at night, friday family movie night

Halloween, 2011

2011-12-03T11:00:00.001-06:00

Fall Break: 2011 Villa de Leyva

2011-12-03T10:44:00.001-06:00

For fall break this year, we were able to get away from the city to enjoy a small town in Boyaca. By far, this is my favorite place to go in Colombia. The days were sunny and warm, and the evenings were cool and cozy. There was plenty of good food to eat, gorgeous natural hiking and waterfalls to see, quiet evenings, no city fumes or rush, or fear of violence. It was just what we needed. Sometimes when we are able to get away like this, I feel as if our stress has been "wrung out" and we re able to face the challenging demands of school, work, and city-life once again.

Club de Niñas

2011-12-03T10:23:00.001-06:00

Abby has been busy. She always surprises me with the amount of creativity and initiative she has. She sent invitations to little girls in our neighborhood, calling for a Girls Club meeting. She planned a schedule with snacks, crafts, community service (washing the dog), a fashion show, and games. She facilitated it all on her own and was very, very happy and satisfied with the event.

Did I already mention how much she is like her Aunt Wendy?

Quito, Ecuador

2011-12-03T09:49:00.001-06:00

The majority of my work this year has been with persecuted families in Colombia. For many, they are no longer able to live in Colombia because of their persecution. I work with an MCC network of churches in Canada who have helped to sponsor some of these families if they qualify as a refugee and are able to migrate. This is a very long and complicated process, involving a lot of legal and administrative paperwork, emotional turmoil, complicated, confidential maneuvering, and matching of families to local Anabaptist congregations who then take financial, spiritual, and emotional responsibility for supporting these families.

While it is never easy to complete this process, both because of the pain and suffering involved, as well as the acculturation and grief issues related to leaving your home and trying to create a new life, it is also a beautiful testimony to the global church community. Families are supported and mentored and cared for in the context of a community of believers. They are integrated into this community and often feel "as if they are getting a new family."

Sadly, the Canadian government has decided that this program is no longer needed. They have decided that the problems in Colombia no longer necessitate a refugee program. On a personal level, this decision is absurd, as I continue to hear daily accounts of persecution and fear. On a political note, it seems that it resonates with the other powerhouse decisions that are being made, especially in terms of free trade. How can all of these horrific things be happening, how can we recognize human rights abuses even indirectly and still be able to have free trade?

Due to this change, a delegation of MCC workers who work on refugee issues came to visit us in Colombia. We visited with families here, went to the embassy, and talked about possibilities for the families we were working with. Then together, we travelled to Ecuador, to talk about the situation there with Colombian refugees and the possibilities of church sponsorship there.

I loved seeing Quito. I was inspired by the work of the church there that is already happening, as well as some of the organizations who are supporting Colombians in Ecuador (like Asylum Access and UNHCR). However, it become evident that Ecuador was also not a safe viable option for some of the families we work with locally. It was difficult to return with this news.

My hope is that this visit will clear pathways perhaps for others who are suffering from human rights violations. I was very impressed with all of the Canadian MCC workers who came, with their compassion and knowledge of issues related to refugees. We left Ecuador and returned together to Colombia to meet with the Justice and Peace Committee at the church and think about what other options might be next to pursue. I am humbled to belong to a denomination that cares so passionately about human rights and helping people to be able to live safely. It resonates with my own faith and understanding of what the work of the church should look like all over the world. The families I work with here live in so much uncertainty and pain. I hope that they are able to find a way to live meaningfully here, or that another route to safety can open up for them.

Pan y Paz

2011-12-03T09:38:00.001-06:00

On September, 21 the Mennonite Church in Teusaquillo celebrated "Pan y Paz" which is the International Day of Nonviolence and Ceasefire. Normally, my workplace can feel heavy and sad. However, this was a really happy day, where all of my friends at work were able to contribute their talents of cooking, music, art, and advocacy. We took to the streets and handed out bread to strangers who passed by, accompanied by literature on why we are peacemakers. We rocked the neighborhood with a visiting band made up of street people until the police came. We prayed. We listened to experts speak about the work of peacemaking. We played with the kids, and let them be leaders in the passing of the bread, no doubt a symbolic act that despite the despair and agony of so many in this congregation and this country, we still have energy and hope for a new coming of peace and tranquility.

It was a day full of laughter, conversation, good food, and the enthusiasm which comes from and active and hopeful faith. It filled me up to keep coming back with an attitude that anything is possible within a loving and strong community of faith.

Thanksgiving and Being Alone

2011-11-24T06:47:00.001-06:00

I never used to like being alone. It was a concept foreign to what seemed comfortable and cozy to me. I grew up in a large family, surrounded by friends, family, and neighbors all the time.

It was not until I was 19 years old when I was a Goshen College student and living in a single room alone for the first time that I realized how strange and uncomfortable it was. My friends on the hall teased me because I could not go to sleep at night unless someone else knew I was going to go to sleep. So, I would make the rounds saying goodnight to my hallmates, and then return to bed to sleep alone for the first time in my life. Now that I reflect on that time, I was not alone. Yes, I slept alone, but my friends were only a few steps outside of my door. Yet, it felt like I was the only one within miles.

And really, from 19 to 36 I made great efforts to stay comfortable and surrounded by a community. In fact, a friend recently complemented me on how skilled I am in creating community around me. When we moved to Kansas and did not have family close by I hustled to create potluck groups, small groups, women's groups, game nights, play dates, and date nights. This is what felt exciting, soothing, and comfortable to me.

But being alone...who needs it?

What is ironic is that I had to move away to a city of 8 million people in order to really feel alone, and face my discomfort...seeking out solace and comfort when it was just me. Sure, I started this in the Fall of 2009 when my youngest went to Kindergarten. I started seeing a spiritual director, walking by myself, and settling into being alone. During this time, I was preparing for this great Colombian adventure, even before we decided to come (Thank you, Mary for that observation). And while there were some prayer-filled and soul-searching/beautiful days, there were also days of wandering from window to window looking for other human beings, or calling my mother for an hour, or spending a little bit too long visiting with the North Newton bank tellers.

I woke up thinking about this today. Thanksgiving. I have keen childhood memories of arriving at Camp Friedenswald and anxiously anticipating the arrival of all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, and always extra friends. It is such a deeply happy memory for me. And now, in this very moment, my entire extended family is experiencing those same feelings, scents, joyful anticipation, and love of a big, happy family gathering.

In this moment, I am home alone. The Messiah is playing in the background. I am roasting squash. There is pie crust ready to roll out. I have work to do, revising an article. I will light a candle. I will wrap up in my alpaca blanket. I will take myself for a walk. I will say prayers for the victims I spent time with yesterday.

And mid-afternoon will see the arrival of my three beautiful children.

A little later, my sweet husband.

I spent the last big Thanksgiving mourning what I was missing, there in the Peaceful Woods. This day, I am trying to find the gratitude for what I have here...a simple, quiet, and contemplative time alone, with myself. And there really is so very much to be grateful for. So, I will stir in the ginger, cinnamon, and cloves. I will sink into this ever-familiar music. I will engage my brain and my body in productive activities. I will embrace my children when they come home. And when I return to the joy (and chaos) of a more familiar Thanksgiving, I will remember this moment and be grateful.

Expociencias

2011-10-22T16:28:00.002-05:00

Could be that the elementary education curriculum in the United States is so stressed about math and reading there is no longer room for much science.

Could be that because Lydia skipped a grade coming here, so developmentally she just jumped right into a more advanced level of science.

Could be that we chose a school that incorporates the natural world into so much, and is located on a farm on the edge of the city with much more access to wildlife.

Could be that the science teachers have been some of Lydia's favorites.

Whatever the reason, we have been really thrilled with the amount and level of science our children are getting these three years at Liceo Boston.

This last week (seven complete days, 10 hours each day) Lydia was asked to be one of six students representing their school in the Colombian National Science Fair here in Bogota. They began their project last year, collecting a variety of bugs and insects on the grassy hills of their school. They preserved these bugs, identified them, hypothesized and theorized, and then developed a way to present what they had found.

She gave hundreds of presentations in Spanish as people walked by their booth asking about their project.

Today we went to check it all out. I was so impressed, with the extent of material that was presented in this giant expo-center. Granted, it was my first science fair, but I was very inspired by the work that was displayed!

And we are so very proud of our girl, who has taken tremendous social and academic risks to do this work well, and proven to all of us that her inquisitive mind and creative spirit are stronger than ever.

(Some examples of other projects at the fair... I could have taken pictures all day long).

Thumb-o-meter and Family Decision Making

2011-09-25T07:30:00.000-05:00

When we chose to volunteer with Mennonite Central Committee in Colombia, we did so with much thought and discernment. We also did so as a family. Sure, it was Aaron and I who were applying for jobs, but Lydia, Andy, and Abby were going to be sacrificing a lot, and working very, very hard.

So, at that time, I pulled out one of my standard social work assessment tools called the "thumb-o-meter." This tool works best when used over a period of time to measure change and growth. It is a simple way to measure how someone is doing or what they are thinking without words. Basically, the thumb all the way up means, "I am all the way ready, enthused, this is definitely the right thing." The thumb down means, "This is definitely not the right decision for me. I do not want to do it." And, the design is for there to be a spectrum all the way in between.

Now, I know that it is not appropriate for a 13, 11, or 9 year old to be responsible for such a major decision like this. But in order for my thumb to be in the upper quadrant, I needed all three of the kids to be there too, and I needed it to be that way not just one day, but over a period of time. And before we actually said yes, they were. They were excited for the challenge and ready to go. What a blessing to all 5 be on the same page.

As we entered into our third year of our term the question was posed to us about extending for a longer term. We never really considered staying longer than 3 years, which is the standard term for MCCers. This question, however, put us in the position of having the discussion again as a family. And the result was all over the board.

And each day since the conversation our thumbs have moved around significantly.

I had an interesting conversation with my friend Neil about what variables are considered when making a decision to stay longer or go home (they came at the same time as we did and have decided to stay longer). We came up with a few.

1. Family and Community (both here and there)
We Mennonites do not live in a vacuum. We are connected to people. The people we are connected to miss us a lot, and we miss them. Sometimes they worry about us, and sometimes they have to make great financial sacrifices to come see us, and we are humbled that they do. They are part of this decision.

Is the Mennonite community here in Colombia really needing us to continue our work? Are will filling a void? Are they growing and learning from having us here? Are we?

2. Career
Aaron and I both left careers that we were enjoying to come do this. We also did so knowing that it would expand our understandings and make us better at what we do, for so many reasons. How long do we take this "sabbatical" to serve and understand the global work world better? At what point is this even a sabbatical and at what point is it a new step in our careers?

We both have jobs here. Does it make sense in the contexts of our work for these jobs to continue as they are? Do we have more to give? Do the organizations have the motivation and willingness to put enough into our positions to continue to make them productive and valued?

What are the possibilities of jobs at home?

3. Finances
We are not making a lot of money as International Service Workers. However, we are living more comfortably than we have in a very long time. By this, I mean that we have full medical coverage, all of our bills are paid, we get enough to eat, and thankfully there are kind people renting and taking care of our house in Newton.

In the current economic scenario at home, will we be able to do the same?

We are also keenly aware that to have a family in MCC is very expensive for the organization and their donors. We deeply respect that fact that they accept and support families, but especially in more urban setting, this can be an economic drain.

4. Attitude/Perspective/Faith/Gut
Whatever it is exactly....does it feel RIGHT to be here? What parts of this experience are really giving us energy and what parts of this are really taking away energy? Do we still feel a calling? Are we feeling fulfilled and at peace in our environment? Do we feel grounded and integrated into this community? Are we experiencing Mutual Transformation between our Colombian cohorts and ourselves?

A long time ago, Aaron wrote about our different styles of making decisions here.
Needless to say, it is not simple.

However, we have come to the conclusion that the three year term we agreed to is just the right amount of time for the five of us. At times, this makes some of us very, very sad and at times it makes some of us very, very anxious, and there are even times that it makes some of us very, very excited. Let it be so. Here we go, again on the Merry-go-round...

(Any ideas or suggestions on repatriation as a family would be very much accepted, as would prayers, thoughts, understandings, and job leads.)

School for Peace: Sahagún

2011-08-29T10:14:00.001-05:00

Aaron has been working with the School for Peace now for 2 years. Primarily, this time has been spent with a group of devoted church leaders in the Carribean Coastal Region. Most of these folks do this training program on the weekends without extra pay, missing work or family obligations, and sometimes increasing their risk of being directly affected by political violence. But they do it because they are profoundly committed to furthering their understanding, training, and their work for a more peaceful reality in their regions.

The coordinator of this region asked if I would be willing to facilitate a class for them on "Healthy Groups." I agreed, and spent a considerable time planning for the weekend. This was my first course in Spanish. I know that it seems that was "why I was supposed to come" but for a variety of reasons, it has taken me a good amount of time to be ready for this kind of challenge. Since Aaron knows this group and had other work to do with them, I asked him to come along and help.

So for the weekend, this was my classroom.

Working with Aaron was interesting. After almost 18 years of marriage, I am very aware that we have different styles of approaching something like this. I had everything completely planned out, printed out, and practiced. I had extra materials of every kind, just in case, and every 5 minutes was accounted for in detail, including transitions and breaks. I laughed when we were setting up for the class and Aaron turned to me and said "Um, did you bring a pen?"

What Aaron had that I did not was charisma. He was charming and comfortable with this group. He was an enthusiastic, spontaneous, playful, and very competent facilitator, and these elements were definitely needed in order to complement my structure.

Immediately when we got off the plane, we were struck with the relaxed, friendly, and familiar part of this region that we miss so much of in the city. There was fresh air, beautiful green pastures with cattle grazing, someone selling eggplant at the airport, and an environment that just says "Let's relax, take our time, and have a conversation together." Pastor Manual picked us up at the airport and instead of rushing off to start the course, we sat and had drinks together in a shady tienda outside of the airport. Needless to say, this meant that we started class two hours late, but I "had planned for that" and knew to be flexible.

Pastor Manual is a very kind pastor, who literal does everything for this church, including cleaning and giving people rides on his moto. The church is small, and has been in existence for six years. The town of Sahagun is small and poor, but full of friendly, kind, and generous people. The church itself is situated near a "complicated" area of town where they have experienced paramilitary activity, problems with drug addiction, and prostitution. The only reason you would know that explicitly is that people would only whisper certain words, or not even say them out loud (injustice, paramilitary, political violence, displacement).

It was HOT. The air was still. We would work for several hours in class and then the nice kitchen helpers would bring around HOT coffee that was thick with sugar or warm bubble-gum flavored soda. For one day, the participants were so excited because we were having soup for lunch with ñame, rice, and suero (yummy fermented yogurt/cream). It was delicious, but very, very hot. We took full advantage of the short breaks we had.

Other food for the weekend included "Cat heads" which is a chunky, platano concoction with salty Costeño cheese and suero and "Fingers" which was fried cheese in a crusty pie dough for breakfast. These kind women volunteered to cook for us all weekend, and the food was very modest, but delicious.

Aaron and I stayed in the house of one of the church members. After the first day, we were transported there on two separate motorcycles. This is the main form of transportation there, and of course there are no helmets and very little road rules about riding. Children there start driving them when they are eight years old. It was my first ride on a motorcycle in the dark with a stranger. But the breeze was welcomed, and it was lovely to ride through the town and see people sitting on the sidewalks and porches visiting together. In Bogota, this is the time of night people generally return into their households and here in this small community, it was the time that people came out. It reminded me of cool summer evenings in Kansas, which aren't really cool, but just a little less heat and a little more tolerable.

This was our alarm clock.

And this was the view outside our bedroom window.

On our last day, there was a downpour of rain. It brought fresh energy, and during the downpour, two different groups (at the church) burst into singing spontaneously as loud as possible: the women in the kitchen and the youth who were out sweeping the new gathering space. They sang the Spanish version of "How Great Thou Art."

The folks in this class immediately became friends. From ages 13 to 70, they were so patient with me. When I stumbled on finding the right word, there was a chorus of suggestions from them. They were responsive to the content and had all prepared for their homework assignments. We shared a healthy amount of meaningful conversations, laughter, new understandings, and enthusiasm. I felt so much less pressure talking to them than I do talking with people in the office at Bogota.

The structure where we taught the class had just been constructed. It was so new, there was no electricity. We worked until it was too dark to work. It was so new, we had to take off our shoes to enter the classroom....yet another symbol to us that this work is sacred.

I am so grateful for so much this weekend:

-the freshness of a cold showers
-the feeling of being welcomed wholeheartedly
-the feeling that I had something worthwhile to offer this community
-the ability to be creative in conversation
-the release from city noise and be able to listen with sincerity
-the inspiration of so many people who live with so much less than I do

Saturday night the church hosted a community concert and worship service. We sat outside and listened to praise music performed by the young people in the congregation, and the prayers of another pastor to "papacito lindo Dios." We were exhausted from the day, but we could relax, enjoy icey cold panela water with lime, and celebrate with this congregation. One of the songs they sang spoke so clearly to us in the moment:

"El Espíritu de Dios esta en este lugar
El Espíritu de Dios se mueve en este lugar
Esta aquí para consolar
Esta aquí para liberar
Esta aquí para guiar
El Espíritu de Dios esta aquí"

And their off!

2011-08-28T18:23:00.000-05:00

In June, our team grew by 10 members who came to participate in MCC's SEED program. For three months they were in Bogota with us, and just this week they started to disperse to different regions of Colombia where they will be living, studying, and working. We had a final goodbye picnic to send them off. (Notice the SEED wanna-be who jumped in the back of the photo). How cool to have such fresh energy and enthusiastic young people back on our team!

Let's go fly a kite!

2011-08-21T19:12:00.000-05:00

I will always think of August in Bogota when I see a kite flying.

This year we celebrated the Assumption of Mary Festivo by going to the largest park in the city, Simon Bolivar. We were there with one million others (literally) flying kites, enjoying tasty park treats like cotton candy and roasted corn, and having a good time together.

Aaron and Lydia get tired of me snapping photos of them. Hmmm.

Because someone asked today...

2011-08-18T15:51:00.000-05:00

5:00 AM Get up, find clothes for the kids, make them tea and something to eat, review and sign paperwork/homework to be sent to school

5:30 AM Take puppy to the park for a hard run, as it is likely the only exercise she or I will have that day

6:00 AM try to spend a little time connecting with my husband and a cup of coffee

6:30 AM wash dishes, fold and start laundry, take out trash or pick up the house, take a shower

7:00 AM wake up other kid, get breakfast, clothes, backpack again.

7:45 AM leave for work; commute takes between 60-90 minutes; sleep, study, or read on the way

9:00 AM start work: sometimes there are long interviews or meetings with victims, sometimes there is research to be done, sometimes preparation for a class or presentation somewhere

Eat lunch at my desk, keep working.

If possible, make dr appointments, call teachers/bus monitors/parents of friends to arrange playdates and projects. Leave work in order to make dr appointments, meet with teachers, and get all supplies necessary for projects.

4:00 PM leave work; commute home 60-90; spend time in commute thinking about how facilitate happiness and good cheer in our house.

5:15 PM: arrive home, sometimes run to the store to get some groceries or pay bills, help with homework, prepare supper, work on laundry, house chores, violin and piano practice, school meetings, transporting to swim practice, basketball, soccer, gymnastics; take the dog out again.

7:00 PM eat with family, continue with homework, laundry, house chores

8:00 PM put kids to bed: make sure snacks and clothes are organized for the next day, therapy for them about homesickness, school, social issues, fears; coach them into making it work; reading to the kids, cuddling with the kids.

9:00 PM more house clean-up, dishes, laundry, finding socks that will work; check work email and finish details from the day that did not get done; extra reading and maybe a comedy show with Aaron

10:00 PM sleep

Next day: do it all over again.

Point of View

2011-08-14T08:44:00.004-05:00

"From the point of view of the owl, the bat, the bohemian, and the thief, sunset is time for breakfast.

Rain is bad news for tourists and good news for farmers.

From the point of view of the natives, it's the tourists who are picturesque.

From the point of view of the Indians of the Carribbean islands, Christopher Colombus, with his plumed cap and red velvet cape, was the biggest parrot they had ever seen.

From the point of view of the South, summer in the North is winter.

From the point of view of a worm, a plate of spaghetti is an orgy.

Where Hindus see a sacred cow, others see an enormous hamburger.

From the point of view of Hippocrates, Galen, Maimonides, and Paracelsus, there was a disease called indigestion but none called hunger.

From the point of view of his neighbors in the town of Cadona, Toto Zaugg, who wore the same clothes in the summer and winter, was an admirable man. "Toto's never cold," they said.

He said nothing. He was cold, but had no coat.

From the point of view of statistics, if a person earns a thousand dollars and another earns nothing, each of them appears to earn five hundred dollars when one calculates per capita income.

From the point of view of the struggle against inflation, adjustment policies are a good remedy. From the point of view of those who suffer such policies, they spread cholera, typhus, tuberculosis, and other damnations."

Eduardo Galeano

I was with my Spanish tutor yesterday preparing for a presentation and she said to me "Don't use the word individuals. It sounds so cold, stale, and impersonal. Use the word persons instead. Needless to say, I had used that word a lot. To me, it signified uniqueness, specialness, and distinct-ness from others.

When we came here, we thought we would be joining a welcoming, warm, community of people who would become our friends. After all, northerners are more "cold" than southerners, right? Besides the one family we have really connected with, we have never received any invitations from any of our Colombian work colleagues or friends to come to their houses. Our country representative told us, "Don't expect to be invited over to people's houses...they don't really initiate that kind of interaction." But we did anyway. And some times, that feels so very lonely, coming from a tight-knit, Mennonite community where the norm on a weekend was to eat with friends.

When we allow the kids to play outside with chalk art, water, skateboards, and balls, we see it as nurturing creative play, fostering relationships with other kids, and giving them fresh air. Our neighbors see it as irresponsible, dangerous to the children (if they get cold, they will be sick...thus bad parenting), insensitive to the others in our community (because it might break something or create a mess).

When someone cuts in front of us to get a taxi, we see it as rude and obnoxious. They see it as getting ahead, and getting to work on time.

The PE teacher says that wearing shoes with velcro is dangerous for the chidrens' feet. We see velcro tennies as a quick way to get out the door for school.

We could continue this list forever. I learned early in my mediation training to recognize Point of View and understand it well. Living in this setting has given us a different kind of challenge as we learn to understand our place as strangers.

Bogota es Futbol

2011-08-13T20:44:00.001-05:00

The thrill of soccer is in the air here in Colombia. Colombia is hosting the under-20 World Cup in 8 cities across the country.

We were grateful to get tickets to a game. When we bought them, we did not know that we would get to see Colombia, but as it turns out, we did (almost all of us).

At the last minute, Abby had a fever, so I stayed home with her and we shared out tickets with our friends, Juan and Juan Diego.

It was a thrill.

Below is a video clip that Lydia took at the game, where you can hear one of the goals. I think it expresses some of the energy of the game.

Liceo Boston, round 3

2011-08-13T16:24:00.000-05:00

My children are growing.

2009

2010

2011

Note: See how dark it is outside? They leave for school now at 5:40 AM!

Weekend vacation: Melgar

2011-08-13T15:45:00.001-05:00

Our family wanted to get away for a long weekend. We decided to make our very own "summer reading program." We counted all the pages we read, with the goal of making it collectively to 4000. And we made it.

It was hard to wait until the end of the summer to get away. Lydia had a visit to the US (blog post pending), but the rest of us were all here doing the same old thing. And I can honestly say that for the last 10 summers we have spent most days in the water. So this felt like a long wait for what we normally get as our summer joy.

We only went a couple hours outside of Bogota to our favorite water park. We enjoyed a day there and then found a ride to the nearby town of Melgar. (Well, we got a partial ride, then we were asked to get out of the car, which was stopped still in traffic around construction and walk a mile into town with all of our things).

We were refreshed by cool water, warm sunshine on our skins, laughter, freedom from toxic exhaust fumes, and loving each other.

Normally at a pool or waterpark, I am lugged down by sunblock, goggles, towels, shoes, snacks, water, and all the other things a Mom is supposed to carry around. For the first time in our family I heard, "Hey, let's put all this stuff in a locker so we can all ride the rides together." So we did. All five of us left everything (even the camera for part of the day) and took off together to an abundance of laughter and thrills. Joy.

We spent the rest of the weekend at a nice hotel sleeping long hours, playing unlimited mini golf, trying out medium-size golf (pitch-n-put), taking afternoon walks, swimming hard, and lounging by the pool.

We recesitated our good friend Lorenzo, enjoyed a slow and stress-free zip-line, and more water slides (like this one that the kids call the MCC slide because of their memory of the Hutchinson MCC sale.)

While we were gone for this lovely weekend away, our Colombian friends and colleagues, Jenny Neme and Ricardo Pinzon lost their own beloved 13 year old daughter to leukemia. When we left, we knew she was sick, but we did not know she had died. They had only learned of her illness one short week before she died. This shocked us all, and felt strange to come home and learn that most of our colleagues had been together over the weekend to honor her life. Another reminder of the fragility we live in every day.

Did I mention that she is just like her Aunt Wendy?

2011-08-04T08:07:00.000-05:00

This is Abby's idea of beauty.

Yes, we had to purchase two pairs of shoes in order for this to happen. I purchased one and she purchased the other. Oh, the joy!

I recently remembered her toddler days when she would decorate the canned food in the pantry with dinosaur stickers so they would look nicer.

And last night she hosted a neighborhood cine night at our house. She passed out tickets, organized food and beverage "combos" and taped seat numbers to the sofa cushions. (and of course, there were assigned seats).

Summer days with Diana

2011-07-31T17:38:00.001-05:00

Our family has always made the choice to be with our children as much as possible in the summer months. This has been difficult at times, financially and logistically, but through a variety of community friends, some flexibility in work schedules, and part-time babysitters, we have made it work. This has been our norm.

With our MCC positions, the expectation is that we continue with work during the summer months when our children are on vacation. The organizations we work for in Colombia, our country rep, and MCC in general has been very receptive and flexible with our childcare arrangements, and for that, I am very grateful.

Still, this summer our children were with another adult more time than every before. And while there were better days and worse days, in general, it went smoothly.

I am thankful for sweet Colombian friends who understand and love my children when I cannot be with them, and for three children who work hard each day in a second language to play with one another and take care when their parents are at work.

Two Years

2011-07-31T17:21:00.000-05:00

Really? In so many ways, with so many hills and valleys and new understandings, it feels like 10. In other ways, we still don't seem to know anything, and it seems we just arrived.

Two years ago, we were arriving in Colombia after getting to know our soon-to-be friends and colleagues. We said goodbye and dove into a sea of uncertainty and unfamiliarity, holding onto each other as closely as possible.

One year ago, we celebrated milestones together with the same friends. We ate together, laughed at all we had learned, celebrated new knowledge and understandings, and continued swimming, sometime with the current and sometimes against, but pushing forward, still holding tight to one another.

Yesterday, we attempted a two year celebration with Elizabeth and Neil. They came for lunch, which we did not get prepared until 5 and we attempted to grill outdoors in the conjunto, but then were moved to the park, where it began to storm all over us only to result in food that tasted strange and a lot of wet bodies.

We also shared hot chocolate, yummy mora turnovers, candlelight, reflections and hopes for each of us in Colombia, one special beer, and a very funny movie. But by that time, we were all too hungry and tired to take pictures.

We have claimed this experience to be good for our family, because it allows us to "be the strangers." In our cozy, comfortable space in quiet little Menno-ville, we lack the vulnerability and perspective to understand what it is like to be the outsider. I can see clearly now that we gained what was needed, and it has made us harder on the outside and softer on the inside (Barbara Brown Taylor).

One more year. We are already making lists of what we want to do before we leave. Will we get to cross them off? The challenge in the coming months for us is to still allow ourselves to really be here, while we begin the much needed preparation for what it will take to return.

Listo.

2011-07-31T17:02:00.000-05:00

Morning Commute on the Transmilinio

2011-07-23T08:28:00.000-05:00

Aaron and I both commute to work via public transportation for about 1 hour and 15 minutes each way. That is 2 1/2 to 3 hours of people watching per day. We laugh about thinking this would mean we worked in Emporia (and lived in Newton).

Our ethnographic perspective so far has noted the following most common behavior of people who accompany us on this commute.

Sleeping
Reading
Mamas and Daddies and Nannies cuddling sleeping babies
Talking on cell phones/texting/listening to ipods
Day-dreaming
Reading the newspaper, cramming for an exam, or studying English
Putting on make-up / beauty products, including curling your eyelash with a spoon.
Deep kissing / making out
Hovering over seats so as to not absorb the cooties of the person who sat before you.
Pushing, as hard as you can, as if your life depended on it.
Smelling of strangers who are packed in like sardines.

The construction costs for this system are 5.9 million US dollars per kilometer. There are nine lines, 114 stations, and it covers 84 kilometers of the city. There is a "daily ridership" of 1.6 million people. Aaron and I are always amazed that in our regular route, we rarely see the same people, even though we are riding at approximately the same time.

My good friend Elizabeth, who is a scholar told me about a study where the length of your commute is correlated to your degree of unhappiness. Uh oh.

Here is a pretty funny video about how to use the Transmilenio in English. It is a little outdated, but gives you an idea...

A Poem shared at Retreat

2011-07-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

Ingredients, by Ruth Goring

Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors (vegetable source), caffeine. One ingredient has been omitted from the list on every can: blood.

I am weary of this world and its ingredients. Its brown fields and its gold mines, buckling bridges, planes that strike tall buildings and explode, open a mouth that screams, gulps thousands to an ignigted belly.

I could say no to this world, to my own skin and language for being tools of conquest, desire's deformation: hamburgers in Japan, oil wells on paths of Alaska's caribou, Avon sales in Brazilian jungle towns, Coca-cola everywhere, more fiercely craved than wine and everywhere tainted with blood.

I could say no. I am tired of the empire of petroleum with its poisoned air, its gridlock, its plastic that chokes oceans, its long cunning violence, its oracles of terrorism, and God on our side.

I am tired of empire. I am tired of tasting the ingredients and being forced to drink. I am tired of I.

Speak a new list, my sisters. Let us write it on our hearts. Say it is old, my brothers. Say it can become our DNA, our blood.

Tell me what Jesus says. Jesus says grass, chlorophyll, and lilies of the field. Jesus says worms that swarm in backyard compost or kitchen vermiculture.

Stay awake.
You will have trouble in this world.
Jesus says we.
Jesus says sing.
Get in the way on earth as it is in heaven.

Jesus says caribou, sparrows ceiba trees, mustard seeds.
Jesus says hands, apples, loaves and fishes, wine.
Jesus says blood, his own.
Jesus says flesh, God's dwelling,
God's scars.

Jesus says Rogers Park, and Entrea, Colombia, Queens, South Central, Michoacan, Cambodia, Burma, Arctic Village, Egypt, Tanzania, Iran, Baghdad, St. Petersburg, India, Trinidad and Tobago, Plow Creek Farm, far as the curse is found.

Jesus says come to me, all who are tired and burdened.
Fish, lit coals, a bit of salt:
I've made you breakfast on the shore.
Say yes.

Perspective

2011-07-21T17:29:00.000-05:00

If you lived here...

And went to school here...

Would you not do whatever possible to create beauty around you?

SEED tour

2011-07-21T17:18:00.000-05:00

Our family decided to join the SEED group during the July 20 Festivo for an economic tour of Bogota. We started in the really wealthy parts of the city and migrated down to some of the most poor sectors. Our children were engaged and thoughtful the whole time, and felt the heaviness of the realitie(s) in which we live.

Thanks to all the MCC supporters, this is what we ate for lunch.

Happy Independence Day, Colombia. I am so sorry that because of all the multinational interests and corruption here, you still are not all "independent." May it be so.

MCC Retreat #7

2011-07-21T17:02:00.000-05:00

Our seventh MCC retreat welcomed a new batch of 10 "Seeders" to our team. SEED is a really cool new MCC program, offered to young adults, that combines North American and Central or South American people in a two year service experience that has a strong educational component. You can learn about it here.

That was not the only new component to this retreat. For the first time, our children were NOT involved in a "child care" situation. Since the three of them are now the only children in the "service-worker" category, we decided to integrate them more into the "normal" programming for this retreat. Considering that most of the retreat was focused on connecting, knowing, and understanding each other, and considering that their father was on the planning committee this worked beautifully. They participated in the sharing groups, the games and initiatives, the worship, and almost all of the group conversations. I was not sure at first how much resistance we would experience, and how many times they would ask for friends, but with sweet Adrian David (son of the country rep) and 10 new older adults to play with them, they were very happy. Grateful...on so many levels.

THIS was what I had expected, coming into MCC as a family. This is not just a job for us. We decided to come together as a family; we are navigating it all as a family; and my children experience every bit as much questioning, confusion, and culture adaptations as we do. Here was a safe space for them to talk about it with warm, loving, inspiring: adults who have chosen to follow their faith actively, engage in a global community, and claim peace and justice as their goal. This is all I have wanted for them. This is why it is amazing that MCC welcomes families. This experience will be with them for the rest of their lives.

We enjoyed staying away from the city. The natural world welcomed us. We slept well, with quiet, still nights, heavy blankets, and the songs of crickets. The food was plentiful. There was music, activity groups, candles, laughter, quiet secret worship services*, and a lots of time to play and learn together.

Blessed be.

*For most of the weekend, we played "Persecution," which is a game about Anabaptist history and Abby worked very hard to coordinate and attend secret worship services, in order to be "bapatasized."

Parenting

2011-07-21T14:37:00.000-05:00

"When you parent, you fall in love with a person who is always changing into someone else, and who you know will leave you." Elizabeth Lesser

More Disclaimers

2011-07-02T15:18:00.001-05:00

I recently read a good post here from service workers in Haiti, and it reminded me that it has been awhile since I have given a disclaimer for this site. So here goes...

1. This site was designed by us as a way to communicate with our supporting congregations, our families, our friends, and as a way for us to journal or document our family's experience in Colombia.

2. We do not have special expertise in Colombian culture or heritage. We are foreigners who are finding our way, exploring the newness, and appreciating what we find as it is discovered.

3. Our thoughts, reflections and experiences are our own. They do not always reflect the opinions or philosophy of Mennonite Central Committee, or Mennonites in general, and they are not edited by either entity.

4. Many times we are posting reflections which we know are not rooted in research or data. This is not an academic site backed by objective data. There are other places to go for that.

5. If we offend any person, Colombian or not, by our thoughts, we apologize deeply, and we welcome dialogue with you about this offense.

6. Most of the posts are written by Jen. That means they are her perspective, based in her thoughts and feelings. It is quite possible I have misrepresented a member of my immediate family in a post, and for this, I am sorry.

7. One of our favorite things is to receive comments on our blog. Each time, it is like a little present, knowing that someone is reading and is interested in our time here. We have occasionally received offensive comments, which have been deleted. Please leave us comments, and please be kind and thoughtful in the process of doing so.

8. I have received feedback that people would like to read more about my work. I understand that completely, but there are also security factors that prevent me from talking too specifically on a public blog about my work. I will reflect on work issues in general, but I cannot put the people I am accompanying in any additional risks by publishing more details here.

9. Faith. Each member of our family, and each volunteer with Mennonite Central Committee has a unique faith. And while there are things that bind us together, the varied part can cause discomfort and misunderstanding. Please understand that our faith journeys are complicated and much deeper than the little that can be expressed in this venue.

10. Feel free to link to our posts, if you feel called to do so. We would love to know about it so we can know who is reading about our journey here in Colombia.

Thank you for reading!

Futbol in Colombia

2011-06-27T10:35:00.000-05:00

I have been watching this man play soccer for almost 20 years. And I have been a fan of the game for much longer than that. I love sitting outside on the grass and watching a good soccer game.

After a year of living here, Aaron finally found an adult league that needed another player through a connection at our church, Tierra Linda. He agreed to play on most Sundays with them. Usually, the games are so far away that we don't go to watch, but this past Sunday it was closer and we were able to go enjoy a beautiful day outdoors watching him play.

Soccer, as well as other rigorous sporting events, has a profound mental health affect on Aaron. I contest it is just as strong as Prozac might be for him, taking the edge off of stress, depression, or anxiety. He comes home feeling relaxed and ready to go. For this, it is definitely worth it for him to take the time to work out. And, while it is sometimes frustrating that his almost-40 year old body cannot do the same things as his 20 year old body could he still outplays a lot of younger Colombians and is a valued member of his team.

In addition to personal frustrations, he has experienced some cultural frustrations as well. We talked about this together, and he explained a little more about these factors.

In general, there is good individual skill, an instinctual knowledge about how to play strategically, but there is a lack of refinement because it has all been informal. For this reason, the most detrimental aspect of the game is mental. Some people theorize that this is why Colombia has not made their mark in the international soccer arena, and the effect of a traumatized society comes through in the game. Talent is used as self-protection, self-promotion, not as a way to contribute to a greater good.

Colombia is a highly relational, verbal, and hierarchical culture which values individual expression of opinion and judgement. This gets expressed on the field by difficult teamwork. It is more common to see a lot of critique (yelling at each other) about individual play, competition between players of the same team, and "ball hogging."

This is not so different than the "norms" of cutting in line, running lights, and not waiting for pedestrians. People are trying to get ahead of each other. "If I have something, I do what I can to keep it and if I have an opportunity to get more, I take it." It becomes very individualistic.

As a man who has coached and analyzed soccer for years, this can be very frustrating. But I am proud that he is making connections, new understandings, fostering his love of the game, and getting some of what he needs physically. And it was so very fun for all of us to watch him play again.

Andy made friends and hunted for bugs right away, and there was a good amount of physical contact between siblings who were glad to be together again.

Shared Motherhood

2011-06-21T17:54:00.002-05:00

Due to the intensity of my work here, I have sought out evening outlets that allow me to release the sadness and tension of trauma and allow me to sleep well. Some times this involves playing with my puppy outside. Sometimes reading a book (that is not about trauma). Some times it involves finding something “fluffy” to watch on television.

One of my fluffy finds recently has been a show about polygamy. I will admit it is my second one. I am not a polygamist. I don’t identify with it as a lifestyle, or religious stance. I am not in any way excited for Aaron to have several partners. However, there has been something in these shows that pulls me in, and when I was talking with Aaron about it, it became clear to me what it was.

These women, the “sister wives” share a bond and a connection that really in my opinion has nothing to do with the husband. They have chosen to live in an intentional way that offers them the opportunity to share motherhood. They live with the absolute security and satisfaction that their children have other mothers who will always love and care for them. They consider the children of their sister wife their own children. They find companionship in the daily tasks of living, from household work to faith, to parenting, and finances. They live in a way that makes sharing a pervasive and ordinary part of life.

This is not so unlike another little escaping habit I have formed. There are hundreds of blog networks and pod casts that have been created by mothers. Mothers who want to share their experiences, their life challenges, their faith, their joys and sorrows. And in a very different way, they are also living in community....finding friends and connections in the virtual world that they understand to be real, exposing very intimate, close, and shared experiences of everyday life.

In this framework, I, too, have been blessed by the ability to share my experience of motherhood with so many, and to do so in a way that my own Mennonite faith dictates: by living in community. There are so very many examples, but here are a few:

-I have shared motherhood with my husband. As a full time stay-at-home Dad, he has taken on the primary care role with our children. It was not uncommon for me to call home from work and ask what they were doing. He would respond by saying they were “nursing and reading Mothering Magazine together.” The fact that he referred to giving her a bottle as “nursing” was initially a joke around the house, but I later understood it to be his way to express the intentional and strong way he felt connected to our babies.

-Living far away from Grandparents made me very grateful for the child care co-op that we organized within our church community. Once a month, two couples would keep all of the kids for four hours while the others could go out on a date, or spend some quiet, uninterrupted time at home together. I am thankful for Jan, Jon, Amy, Matt, Eric, Yolanda, Sid, Sarah, Cheryl, and Bob, Tom and Martha for giving me that time and for mothering my children.

-Informal and numerous child care and meal swaps with Rachel, Sara, Megan, Kristin, Cheryl, Aimee, Andi, Christy, and other neighbors and friends alike.

-A very generous friend, who longs to be a mother who would without hesitation welcome my own children into her house and leave them special Easter treats as her way of mothering them.

-Bittersweet coffee gatherings with mothers and fathers after drop-off on the first day of school.

-An almost twelve year tradition of weekly meals prepared and shared between two families.

-Feeling the freedom and comfort to let my mother or sisters or brother have my children and love them unconditionally.

-I remember getting together to can peaches with Beverly, Cheryl, Yolanda, and Kristin so that our children could taste sweetness all winter long, and also so that we could honor a child that did not make it into this world.

-Elizabeth, who came to cook for and play with my children while I was sick in bed and Aaron was unavailable.

-I am so thankful for Lu Ann, who spontaneously took my kids to the pool, or magically put a pint of fresh salsa or cranberry relish in my fridge when I would get home from a long day and need something fresh.

-Sara and I would nurse our toddlers all the way through the Sedgwick County Zoo and then come home together to fold each others’ laundry and keep one another company. Many afternoons turned to evening meals shared and later evening conversations and connections.

-Spending time with Kristin and her enthusiasm for mothering only magnified my own. Whatever creative parenting ideas sprouted from our conversations were met with “Oh, yes, we can do that! Sure we can” And then we did. Joyfully.

In the last fourteen years, I have been privileged to call myself a mother. I have found so many mothering mentors that have helped me. Joan, Susan, Deb, Lois, Ruth, Vicki, Ellen, GB, Jeanne, Mary, my many aunts, and so many more have been the spirits that help to guide my path, to encourage me, to help me to understand this privilege and responsibility.

I think my own mother taught me well how to parent with open doors. Her house exhibited openness, literally and figuratively to so many different friends, children, pets, and strangers. Her willingness to let other people in helped me be open to giving and receiving love from so many.

I have lent my kids to numerous babysitters, teachers, coaches, mentors, and friends, and so many of them give my own children the best that they can to nurture them and help them grow. They need feedback, attention, tender loving care, encouragement, inspiration, and challenge. And all this happens without me.

No wonder when I am in a crowded, busy place, where it may be easy for my kids to get lost, the advice I most often given is “Go find someone that looks like a mother. She will understand. She will help you.” And while I am quite sure that this does not keep them 100% safe, I feel secure that they will likely be shepherded and mothered right back to me.

It is a blessing to reflect on the many mothers who have shared this journey with me. I am grateful and humbled by their generosity, and I feel deeply committed to doing the same for others whenever I am given the opportunity to share motherhood. My faith draws me into community; sharing our resources, our food, our feelings, our dreams our ideas and yes, our children too.

*** There are women who have shared this journey with me who I have not mentioned by name. I am sorry. You are not any less important than those that are listed, and I thank you deeply.***

Dia de Colombianidad

2011-05-28T07:28:00.005-05:00

It truly is a beautiful thing to live in a country with such rich and passionate cultural heritage. The primary school hosted a "Dia de Colombianidad" which incorporated music, food, traditional clothing, dance, history and culture for all the different regions of Colombia. It was a wonderful, project-based opportunity for the kids to learn more about their own history, culture, and traditions. Our two were the only North Americans participating, but all the teachers said they fit in just perfectly as "100% Colombians." At this point, they are learning more Latin American history and culture than they are learning about US history and culture.

For Abby, this was the pay-back for a whole year in uniforms. The girls got to go to school in fancy dress-up, instructed to put flowers in their hair and wear make-up.

For Andy, it was a pretty unhappy day.

(but I still got a little smile)

He worked very hard to contribute to his "regional booth." He went early to help set up, he brought in food and made signs. But, generally anything that is going to draw unnecessary attention to him makes him angry. Add this to the immobility he suffers from on crutches contrasted with the fact that most of his friends were running around, dancing, and having a good time, he was not so happy. Still, he has mentioned several times about the things he learned, and I know he has a solid respect for the culture within which he is living.

Don't you just wish you could do this?

A Privileged Faith

2011-05-26T22:42:00.001-05:00

I believe in prayer. I think I always have. And while most of my life I have prayed in silence or through song, I did spend a good amount of 2009 learning how to pray with words too. I have always felt that it is a profound and sincere way to offer support within a community, to release stress and re-focus one’s energy, and to come to a more grounded sense of living.

However, I have felt incredibly uncomfortable when I have been in circumstances where people have asked for specific interventions from God. If there was a continuum of those who give all credit for our actions to human agency and those who give all credit to the “will of God,” I would have been well over on the human agency side. I believe that people have choices, they make decisions, sometimes good ones and sometimes bad, but they are of their own doing, not of God’s. And when there IS divine intervention, it is not a response to one person’s private petition, but rather, a way of putting things right with the universe, the way they “should be.” In the same way, I do not believe that God punishes us because of the choices we have made, or that human suffering as a result of natural disaster, disease, or untimely death is purposely driven by God.

In Colombia there is a common phrase that people use in conversations: “Si Dios quiere.” This is a phrase that has irritated me greatly because it is used in very common contexts like, “Yes, I will make it to this meeting, if God wants.” Or, “Yes, I will complete that task tonight, if God wants.” In my most skeptical moments, I felt like it is a written-in cop-out. No matter what the outcome, they had God to blame if things did not work out for them. This is a theological phenomenon that happens a lot here in Colombia and I would venture to say in many parts of Latin America. And it rubbed me the wrong way.

For example, I have had many people who share testimonies with me that say that because they are people of such profound faith, God has sent them angels and has saved them from murder and kidnapping attempts. They don’t think that any of their actions have resulted in their safety, only their prayers. Or, I have heard that God condoned a massacre because most of the people killed were Catholics and he was punishing them for their faith. I do not believe that God gives “preferential protection” to save some of us over others. There is nothing that confirms for me that God will protect one family over another because of their prayers. I think it is a harmful and very judgemental assumption to make.

When the pastor here was talking to me about a threatened family we were working with, he said with complete sincerity, “We’ll see if God can keep them alive this weekend.” This made me pause to think.

The families that come to our church for help...

They cannot call the police for protection when someone is trying to harm them.

They cannot get basic health care for their children when they are abused, much less any legal processes that might help them recuperate.

They have been shot at, just leaving the house to try and buy milk for their children for breakfast.

They have lost contact with their extended families, their friends, their communities.

They are often living in substandard conditions, without secure shelter, food, or a comfortable place to rest.

They must change their physical appearance just to leave the house, hoping that they will not be recognized by their perpetrators.

They do not receive help from the government, nor recognition for what they have lost.

They do not have the luxury of picking up a telephone and calling a friend for help, as many of these calls are monitored and will potentially put them in harms way.

So the question for me becomes, what is left?

I realize now, that my perspective on what is appropriate or not appropriate to ask for in prayer was based on my ability and my understanding of what it is like to live a privileged life. Never, in the history of my Grandparents, my parents, my own life, nor what I can imagine of my childrens’ lives could we conceive of a time or space where there was nothing left but prayer.

This has changed me. I don’t think I will start asking God to do for me what in reality I can do for myself, but it has helped me to understand that we pray based on what we have, what we feel we can control in life and what we can’t.

And so today we surrounded a mourning mother, who does not have many options in life. I took her hand. I bowed my head and closed my eyes. I let the words of the prayer swirl around me. Several of us were all praying at the same time.

We cannot protect her children.
We cannot find her husband for her.
We cannot erase the images she has in her mind of torture and trauma.
We cannot give her a safe place to live.
We cannot give her any guarantee that she will be alive tomorrow.

So we pray.

And she leaves us feeling a little bit stronger, a little less sorrowful, and a little more hopeful for the next few hours to come. And that is all. she. has.

MCC Colombia Kids

2011-05-15T11:01:00.004-05:00

When we arrived, this was the crew of MCC kids living in Colombia.

And here they are today.

Blessed be.

Gratitude

2011-05-15T10:14:00.006-05:00

Years ago, when our children were babies, we used to dream with these folks about going to live together in Latin America. We shared the dream of expanding our horizons, of instilling the values of peace, justice, and respect for others. We wanted to go, but we were scared to go at it alone, to leave our community and the friendships that sustained us. But, we also knew that MCC would not likely place two families together, and that our friendship may impede our ability to integrate within the community within which we were placed. And we feared the ways these experience can change relationships. I find it profound how even then, we knew what a big leap this would be.

Ten years later, with a strong nudge from Aaron, the five of us decided to go. What a blessing it was when we heard from MCC that there were others going to Colombia at the same time we we were. While we did not have any history with them, to know that there would be other children to accompany ours and other adults who were intentionally taking this on as reflection of their commitment to justice was a significant help.

We almost felt giddy as we anticipated getting to know Neil, Elizabeth, Greg, Susanne, Caleb, and Ascher. It is strange to get to know new people, knowing that it is very likely that your relationship will be significant. Just sharing the process of vulnerability, adventure, and culture shock brings you together.

Caleb, Ascher, Lydia, Andy, and Abby have shared many games, sports, books, movies, special snacks, stories of difficult teachers and embarrassing moments in Spanish, homesickness, boring parent meetings, yearning for familiar celebrations (Halloween, birthdays, etc), learning about poverty and desperation, facing extreme contrasts in life, strange foods (learning to love them), and so. much. more.

Aaron and I really wanted to do this when our kids were in "middle childhood." We wanted this to be an experience that they would remember, treasure, and would form them as adults. Some argue that after 8 years old, this experience is just too hard for kids to adjust...that the difficulties far outweigh the benefits. I don't agree. While this has definitely been the hardest experience our children have ever had, it has most definitely been the most rewarding, and I would not change that for anything.

So now, one year early, Caleb and Ascher, Susanne, and Greg are going home, and we have spent the last few weeks saying goodbye. The goodbyes have been so very sad, but not because of lost time together. We have settled into different routines, different schools, different churches here.

But the companionship that will be lost between our children is something we mourn.

And the gratitude for what we have shared remains.

Thank you to the Walker-Wilson family for taking this leap with us.

Semana Santa, 2011

2011-05-09T09:34:00.009-05:00

This year for Semana Santa we had a lovely "stay-cation" in Bogota, spending a lot of quality time together, getting to know our sweet puppy Mia, and sharing some good times with friends here in Bogota.

Day 1
We had a farewell picnic for MCCer Shalom Wiebe. We had a fabulous picnic, which included some gymnastics practice and boating.

Day 2
We took the whole family outside of Bogota to a small club where Lydia takes swimming lessons. This time most everyone got to go for a swim.

Day 3
Family outing to one of our favorite parks, Parque de Chico for some frisbee and romp time. There was a cook drizzle so we warmed up with hot chocolate, walked to explore another park, and ate out for lunch.

Day 4
Just outside of the city there is a children's park called "Multiparque." We took off there to meet our friends Becky, Nevin, Carter, and Alana for some fun together.

Day 5
I had to work, so Aaron and the kids hung out and played with Mia at the park, getting her socialized with other dogs.

Day 6
Thursday was a "Festivo" so that meant ciclovia was open. We convinced Aaron to rent a bike, and invited our friends to explore the city with us on bikes. We were surprised how far we could go without many complaints from the kids. It was a glorious day!

Day 7
Our country director came over with her family for a Good Friday lunch together and to color eggs with some of the neighbor kids.

Day 8
We met Elizabeth and Neil and took off with snacks and raincoats for a hike in Sopo. They came back for a sleepover at our house.

Day 9
Easter Sunday and Abby's Birthday celebrated with crepes and too many chocolate eggs, followed by church and a much-needed nap.

Day 10
Back to the reality of school and work;

I am grateful.

Our girl Abby

2011-05-09T09:09:00.004-05:00

She spends a lot of her time singing, and has started to write down her songs on her own initiative. Most of them are in Spanish.

She loves to use her body, practicing gymnastics moves as often as possible.

She is learning to spell in English based on Spanish phonetics.

She loves fashion and glittery things, especially because most days she has to wear her "boring" school uniform.

She works hard in school, gets good marks for behavior and skills in "friendship." She sees the world with a genuine sense of wonder and intrigue.

Abby loves adventure. While she told us she would agree to come to Colombia "only for three days," she has now fully embraced our life here, and remembers more of her life here than when we lived in Newton. Occasionally, I tell her a story about our life in the states and she listens with intent, but it is more like a made-up story or a dream.

When I got to know Lydia and Andy, I did not think it would be possible for me to have a third child that was as different as they were from each other.

But I did.

Abby is her own little person, full of sweetness and love and creativity.

And now she is eight.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. You have brought so much joy to this family!

Happy Mother's Day, 2011

2011-05-09T09:03:00.001-05:00

Anne's tea

2011-05-09T08:45:00.004-05:00

As a birthday gift to Lydia, Elizabeth planned a beautiful tea party based on the themes in the books/movies about Anne of Green Gables.

Lydia went early to help cook/prepare things. Elizabeth had very carefully chosen recipes from the books, including Raspberry (Mora) cordial.

Jes and I had the pleasure of joining them for the tea party and movie.

What a beautiful gift.

Thank you, Elizabeth!

Mia-two months

2011-04-29T15:01:00.002-05:00

Mia is two months old now. She can sit when directed. She (mostly) eliminates outdoors. She is very comfortable in her crate and has learned to sleep all night alone, and take long, cozy naps while we are at work/school. She comes when we call her name. She understands Spanish and English. She really likes to chew on her tennis ball and on real beef bones from the grocery store. She loves her home-made pet food and the yummy scraps she gets. She is slowly getting used to her leash, and does well with bribery. She is growing up so fast, and so full of love and cuddles. We enjoy taking turns snuggling with her.

Abby's Birthday Celebration

2011-04-16T07:36:00.005-05:00

Abby decided to invite the three other girls in her class out to see a movie and go to our favorite pizza place in honor of her birthday.

These girls have accompanied her for the last two years. They have gotten to know each other very well, and have a connection that I think will last for a very long time. There was a lot of laughter, playfulness, and good energy. I am grateful for this sweetness shared between them.

A note about expectations...
In our family's season of birthdays (one in each month from Jan-April) Abby waits the longest to celebrate. Because of this (and also maybe because of her age) she spends a lot of time planning...she had well over 6 or 7 different ideas for a party this year. we brainstormed, and evaluated, and thought it through over and over and over. Finally, I sat her down and told her that I thought her expectations were too high, and that maybe we should just do something simple like a movie and pizza with her three friends. She agreed.

But, after they all left, there were tears, and she said she wanted a party do-over. It was not that she was ungrateful. It just did not meet her expectations...she did not like the movie, the pizza place with loud and chaotic, and the time at our house with cupcakes was too short. She cried. I cried. Birthday party blues.

I must admit that my expectations were high too. I wanted things to be cozy and perfect. I made three different batches of chocolate cupcakes because they were not turning out. I made two different batches of frosting because something in the dye made them curdle and look terrible and taste even worse. I was hoping for a nice, springy purple tone and they looked quite grey. I RAN to get the perfect little party favors that I had seen in a store close by and there was no one there to sell them to me.

All in all, the sweet girls who came did not pick up of these feelings, but it was a difficult evening, and I now have another year to think about how to do it better.

Abby sings to Mia

2011-04-14T21:03:00.001-05:00

United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs Snapshot of Colombia

2011-04-13T20:44:00.001-05:00

An excellent summary/map of the humanitarian crisis in Colombia.

View it here.

Days of Prayer and Action for Colombia, 2011

2011-04-10T13:59:00.009-05:00

This year I was happy to serve on a planning committee to help organize activities for the Days of Prayer and Action campaign. In the past, most of the activities have occurred with church and advocacy groups in the United States. Many people are organizing events and offering specific prayers for peace in Colombia in these days. Tomorrow will be a National Advocacy Day for calls to the legislature to encourage change in US policy regarding Colombia.

This is the first year we really worked in a different way to promote this event among local churches in Colombia. We were blessed to have a visit from the Remanzo de Paz church in Sincelejo, Colombia here in Bogota to talk to various churches. They shared their story of displacement ten years ago, and a massacre that killed many of their loved ones. They talked about how they have come together, uniting in the perservering joy and enthusiasm so typical of the coast. They performed original songs for us that expressed their story. I heard them twice and enjoyed the music and inspiration they had to share.

It reminded me of when I was able to visit this community one year ago. I felt transformed by their hospitality, their honesty, their resilience, their beautiful and blooming land, and their hope for the future of their country. I wrote about that experience here.

"Donde está mi hijo?, Donde está mi hermano?, Donde está mi amigo que del pueblo se llevaron?. Donde está mi finca?, Donde está mi ganado?, no veo mi cultivo me siento soltario.... (Where is my son? Where is my brother? Where is my friend they took from town? Where is my farm? Where are my animals? I don't see my crops, I feel alone...)

Que reina la paz, que reina el amor, y que en nuestro pais cese el dolor. Jesús es la fuente de mi salvación, es mi esperanza. Él es mi paz. Él es mi protector. (That peace will reign, that love will reign And that the pain of this country will stop. Jesus is the source of my salvation, is my hope. He is my peace. He is my protector.)

Aquellos causantes de mi gran dolor. Jesús me dío las fuerzas para perdonar." (Those who caused my great pain...Jesus gave me the strength to forgive)

Listen to a short part of their musical program.

Friends in the north really need to know that your prayers and advocacy for the people in Colombia does make a difference. On both policy and personal levels, changes are made, and hope is reborn. Thank you for this work on behalf of Colombia.

Baby Mia comes to live with us.

2011-04-09T17:00:00.001-05:00

Salida Pedogógica

2011-03-31T13:02:00.003-05:00

Many of the schools here (at least the wealthier, private schools) integrate into their curriculum a class trip. Beginning in second grade, they go to difference parts of the country, which they have studied (geography, history, culture, etc).

This was a tradition that we were not accustomed to. Our children have spent a few nights away at a nearby Mennonite church camp, usually huddled with their closest friends, but they have never taken a trip without us. Last year both Lydia and Andy decided NOT to go because they were still adjusting and making friends it is just felt all to uncertain.

This year, after much deliberation, Andy decided to go with his class to the Eje Cafetero region of Colombia, or the "coffee region." There, they visited parks, museums, and learned the entire process of coffee production. He was gone for four nights and five days. They went by bus, slept in a hotel, and were supervised by two of their teachers.

There were some rough nights of homesickness, but overall, Andy really enjoyed his trip, he learned a lot, he bonded with his classmates in a new way, and he was able to come home and write a really spectacular report about his whole experience (which I would have posted, except it is written in Spanish.)

He did NOT, however, brush his teeth the entire time he was gone.

Oops.

Patacones

2011-03-20T13:06:00.009-05:00

Many parts of Colombia rely on plantains as a regular part of their diet. They are high in vitamin A, potassium, and fiber. We have learned to eat plantains in many different ways. At first, the kids did not like them, but now we eat them regularly.

Roasted plantains might be served plain, or stuffed with cheese and bocadillo (guayaba paste). They may be sliced thin and fried. There is plantain soup, and packaged "chips" like we have for potatoes. Some recipes call for green plantains and some for ripe ones, and you can buy chips in each form as well. The green ones are very bitter and good with salt, and the ripe ones sweeten up really nicely when cooked.

One of our favorites is called "Patacones." The first time we had these, we were in Armenia and they were smashed very, very thin, fried, and served with trout on top. It is a very common food in the coastal regions as well.

Our friend Roberto, who grew up on the coast agreed to come over and show us how to make these ourselves. His wife Shalom came and helped us with the accompaniments as well. It was so nice to have them in our home and share this incredible food with them.

We used green plantains.

Roberto peeled them, and cut them up diagonally.

Then he fried them in oil for a long time until they softened up.

When they were soft, we smashed them in an oiled plastic bag, and then fried them again.

They were deliciously crispy and salty.

Shalom helped us learn how to make a tomato accompaniment called guiso or hogau. It is made with onions, tomatoes, and red peppers and in the form of a chunky salsa, which can be made spicy or not (but normally is not).

I had put a pork loin in the crock pot all day to roast, and we also had guacamole, limes, costaño cheese, and the guiso. It was a spectacular meal, with spectacular company, and it reminded me of why some people in my family have a tendency to swear when food tastes so good. It was definitely swear-worthy.

Thank you, Shalom and Roberto for sharing this gift with us.

My bubble fairy

2011-03-20T11:54:00.003-05:00

Breakfast at Ciclovia

2011-03-20T11:32:00.009-05:00

We enjoyed a nice breakfast at ciclovia this morning, which included...

fruit salad

crispy empanadas (chicken or beef) with spicy aji

fresh squeezed mandarin juice

mango viche, which is sour, green mango with sweetened condensed milk and sprinkles

salpicon, which is a mixture of banana, mango, papaya, melon, and strawberries in papaya juice.

Mall jumping

2011-03-20T08:15:00.003-05:00

thirteen

2011-03-20T08:11:00.002-05:00

MCC Retreat #6 in Cali

2011-03-20T07:26:00.006-05:00

The theme of this retreat was fear.

Fear of losing a family member.
Childhood fears.
Fear of natural disasters.
Fear of intercultural communication.
Fear of failure.
Fear of letting people down.
Fear of letting go.
Fear of taking risks.
The fears of our children.
Fear of not staying connected with our communities at home.
Fear of causing damage.
Fear of losing ourselves.
Fear of conflict, armed or not.
Fear of pain.
Fear of the future.
Fear for lost perspective.

Thanks to the Caleñ@s on our team, they were able to navigate workshops, games, and worship times around this theme with excellent planning and activities. We had group time, in tears, in laughter, in prayer. We had group games and "dinamicas" using metaphors. We had time to write and stretch, sing and study, play and ponder, and help listen to each other.

Because of so many recent marriages, there are now eight married couples on the team. The other team members honored this with a very elegant candlelit dinner with music, dancing, games, and recited love poems. It was beautiful, and something Aaron and I needed more than we realized.

I am still struck by the numerous transitions that happen within an MCC team. With each and every retreat it seems there are also goodbyes. And as we connect with others through time, these goodbyes get harder and harder...

Still, getting away from the "norm" of life here in Bogota, which has been cold, dreary, rainy, and emotionally heavy and moving into the warmth and beauty and light of Cali was nothing less than therapeutic for us. We played hard, ate well, and slept long, which is what a retreat should be, right?

And I came back to Bogota feeling grateful.

(thank you Shalom Wiebe for some of these action photos...she has a really nice camera.)

Lydia, who is about to be 13.

2011-03-06T14:13:00.008-06:00

I remember studying human development in graduate school, and the parallels between toddler-hood and adolescence. We. are. there.

I feel really close and connected to her. She still sits on my lap. She will walk down the street with me and hold my hand. She "branches out" in independence, comes back for re-assurance, and then goes out again.

There are many late night tears. Can't go to sleep. Feeling lonely. Scared. Her need to know we are here, and we are still in charge is fierce. Yet, she wants to be her own person and make her own decisions, and face her own reality.

She is CRAZY goofy. And sometimes we think this is really funny. Sometimes we think it is not.

She is excited to measure her growth as much as possible. She has a very healthy appetite and the need for vigorous exercise. She works hard in school. She is trying very hard to navigate her way through middle school with grace and dignity.

My girl, who is beautiful...
because she cares about important things.
because she is genuine and unapologetic about who she is.
because she smiles broadly and cries deeply.
because she loves all little things: children, animals, and plants.
because she creates beauty with her words, her violin, her paintbrush.
because she notices pain and sorrow in the world, and wants to make it better.
because she is.

Love you, my darlin' little girl. So glad to walk this way with you again.

Abby's class

2011-03-06T10:17:00.001-06:00

Lydia learns to eat like a Colombian

2011-03-06T10:07:00.001-06:00

What to do when you are surprised that school is cancelled.

2011-03-06T10:02:00.002-06:00

BOLOS!

Enough said

2011-03-06T10:00:00.002-06:00

This boy

2011-02-26T08:47:00.006-06:00

I remember his birth so well. I think it was my best. The birthing was so much more "orderly," more predictable, more controlled. I was intentional in my pushing, and he wiggled his way out without any complications, working with me the whole time.

In so many ways this process is just like him. He thrives with routine, with predictability. He is a hard worker. He likes things to be in order, controlled, and he loves being with others, especially when a challenge or adventure is involved.

I remember when nurse Cindy had to swaddle him tightly in his blankets, folding them neatly around him until he fell to sleep. Even now, when I tuck him in at night, he likes his sheets to be clean and smooth and tight. He likes his pillow to be "just so" and his blankets to be the right texture and weight.

We have laughed some times about how much Andy's temperament is like a dog. He needs a good amount of exercise, he has his own routine for self-care and eating, he often mimics the energy of the people around him, he likes a good challenge and is eager to please, hardworking, he knows when the schedule changes and he always lets us know what time it is, and he is an extremely loving, sensitive, generous, and dedicated companion.

Virtually all of his teachers have told us in conferences that Andy is a good friend. And he gets along with everyone.

We love you, Andy. We are so proud of you, and so very glad you are our son.

Another lovely trip to the flower market

2011-02-26T08:38:00.003-06:00

We had an early morning outing with MCC friends to gather flowers for the wedding celebration of Shalom and Roberto. What a beautiful morning!

Land and Territory in Colombia

2011-02-12T06:53:00.001-06:00

Marianna's Empanadas

2011-02-10T12:08:00.005-06:00

We are so very grateful for our friend Marianna, who comes to help us with house work and cooking twice a week. She has taught us how to make Ecuadorian empanadas, and they have become one of our favorite treats to have around the house.

Mariana’s Empanadas

Sauce:
Boil 1 t. salt, 2 tomate de arbol, 2 tomate normal until bubbly. Blend in a blender.
Chop up onion really thin. Rinse and add a pinch of salt and a pinch of sugar, and strain. Add the juice of one lime. Mix with tomatos and add 2 t. oil and cilantro.

Pollo:
Boil 2 pechugas for about 20 empanadas. When partially done, add 2 broth cubes. When cooked, shred (reserve broth), and then cook some more with ½ c. reserved broth, black pepper, garlic, and part of another broth cube. Cool.

Masa:
Mix 2 t. baking powder, 1 stick of butter (or a little less), 1 cup and a little more of flour, and a squeeze of lime. Add enough very hot chicken broth to make a sticky paste. Let it cool a bit. Add more flour and knead until soft dough.

Roll the dough into balls about 1.5 inches wide. Roll and fill and wrap. Fry in 1 cm of hot oil.

You can use any combinations of chicken, cheese & mushrooms, ground beef & onion & boiled egg, jelly/fruit (smaller).

Guess who?

2011-02-04T08:04:00.001-06:00

I know this photo is fuzzy, but one of my daughters looks SO much like one of my sisters, I had to show you...

A new year, new job

2011-02-03T16:08:00.002-06:00

When we started MCC we were well aware of some of the issues related to placement. People told us stories about mis-understood expectations, about vague job descriptions, and about the need to be flexible and responsive in our work here. We also learned this years ago in our early experiences in International Development classes, and we reminded ourselves of this phenomena as we entered into this work with a genuine commitment to support the work of the church, of MCC, and to let whatever skills we had reinforce and strengthen the programs that had already emerged from the grassroots here in Colombia. And we deeply respect and support MCC, recognizing that the practice of placing people in 56 different countries, and being responsive to local needs and desires is much more of an art than a science.

When I came, I thought I was going to be spending most of my time with the School for Peace program, which is an inter-organizational effort to provide a mid-level educational peace program for people in regions of Colombia where they may not otherwise have similar opportunities. I thought that my experience in Interpersonal mediation and conflict transformation might be able to contribute to this program in meaningful ways. As it turns out, the School for Peace is in more of an evaluating and re-visioning stage, and Aaron’s knowledge of Organizational Development and program evaluation were more needed at the time.

So, there was another program running at Justapaz that needed some assistance. This program was the Research and Political Advocacy Program that documented human rights abuses in Protestant and Evangelical Churches here in Colombia. This is a facinating and innovative program, and offers an opportunity for churches to accompany vitcims in ways that go beyond the spiritual and tangible, and includes a level of political advocacy. Each year they document cases, complete a recent theological and political analysis, and make recommendations in the document The Prophetic Call. It was an honor to work with my teammates on this project, looking into programs offered by Colombian churches for peacebuilding, learning more about the levels of victim accompaniment, and how to best do this, working on editing and translating the document, and visiting with regional church leaders who risk their lives to tell these stories and offer them in prayer to churches and advocates everywhere.

As the year drew to a close, another MCC Colombia position opened up. Our friend Shalom has decided to leave MCC and return to Canada to pursue her studies. Our country director thought I would be a good candidate for this position, and we started to converse about the details of another transition. Indeed, I thought it was a good fit too, and so I agreed to make the change.

While I am still working in the “Izquina Mennonita,” my new position is with the Teusaquillo Mennonite Church as a support worker for people living under threat. This church has a long history and reputation for their work on issues of social justice and peace. The congregants are very involved in a variety of outreach programs in this and area communities. One of these programs, sponsored by the Justice and Peace Committee of this church is a weekly gathering space called “Moment for Peace.” It is a time for anyone in the community to gather over the lunch hour for a short biblical reflection, prayers, and some kind of information and discussion about local and international social-political issues. After this, there is a food shared, informal sharing of stories and accompaniment, and groups related to living in difficult times. I have participated in this space many times as a community member, and I am happy to formalize my involvement and get to know some of the participants much better.

In addition to this space, I will be helping to interview and gather stories of participant experiences, most of whom have been displaced due to political violence and are possibly still in hiding or under threat. This community works in a variety of ways to help these families and individuals rebuild their life and find support within a church community.

So, onward I go in this new direction, with an open heart, a willingness to learn, and the hope that in some way my contributions will be welcomed in the lives of this church community.

For a Child

2011-01-18T14:29:00.002-06:00

Your friends shall be the tall wind,the river and the tree
The sun that laughs and marches, the swallow and the sea
Your prayers shall be the murmur of grasses in the rain
The song of wildwood thrushes that make God glad again

And you shall run and wonder, and you shall dream and sing
Of brave things and bright things, beyond the swallow's wing
And you shall envy no one, nor hurt your heart with sighs,
For I will keep you simple, that God may make you wise.

Elizabeth Heiks (Grossmama)

Here, there, and back again

2011-01-16T15:46:00.008-06:00

With great anticipation we took off to reconnect with the sweet spirits and spaces which we left 18 months ago.

There was so much joy. And so much affirmation.

And at times there was very hard work, both physically and emotionally. It felt so satisfying to see work completed, to be held in safe spaces.

We experienced the reverse cultural adaptations that we have read about...shocking cold weather and beverages, changes in mannerisms, houses full of stuff, open and quiet spaces, crazy busy socializing. At times we felt like we were floating on the very top of a space of water, and we just could not quite let ourselves sink in.

There was so much kindness, so much generosity. People fed us, physically and emotionally. We were held in love.

Some of the things we anticipated would be so good were not. Some of the things we thought would be hard were not.

And when the time came we were all five ready to return to the home we have created here. A simple life that has been thoroughly examined, and now will take a fresh start with new routines, new work, new love for our home and for this beautiful country.

While there is lingering sense of uncertainty and a bit of anxiety at times, we feel deeply and snuggly connected to one another.

Josie-love

2011-01-16T15:38:00.001-06:00

Two peas in a pod

2011-01-16T15:25:00.004-06:00

While she still struggles with some of the painful realities of middle school socialization, Lydia is thriving on her relationships with MCC mentors. These relationships will feed her and inspire her for the rest of her life. We have had fun trying to document all the ways that she and our dear Elizabeth have found similar interests/behaviors. What a gift.

Lydia and Beth...
both play violin
both love reading, especially Narnia
both are messy cooks
both are the fastest at Dutch Blitz
both like being crafty/like having projects
both able to amuse themselves without too much effort
both have American Girl dolls
both believe in fairies
both trip and fall a lot
both have problems listening sometimes
both like to spin
both chew gum loudly
both have highly expressive faces
both like Irish step-dancing

Noche de las Velitas

2010-12-08T06:18:00.007-06:00

Some say this is a form of lighting candles to honor each member of your family; some say it simply celebrates the beginning of the Christmas season; theologians say it marks the immaculate conception; and others say it provides light for Mary, marking her way to Bethlehem.

We had an intimate time with our friends, praying to God and the Virgin Mary for

health
good friends at home, in Colombia, in Canada
strangers becoming friends
peace for Colombia
peace of mind
strength and hope for our children
safe travels to come

Then we went to a party where we enjoyed buñuelos and Christmas tamales with pork and chicken, more candles, and Christmas carols. We ended the evening in our conjunto, lighting candles with our sweet vecinos, enjoying the magical light, playing with wax, and then falling into our beds to sleep. I have not doubt that this will be a Holiday tradition in our household form now on.