Thoughts on marriage after 15 years…

1. Marriage is a choice. You don’t make that choice once. Rather, you make it everyday, possibly every hour.

2. Ultimately, marriage is about community: sharing space; trying to find consensus; listening for understanding; push and pull.

3. Varied philosophy on parenting, spirituality, change, time, and transition can both strengthen and hurt us.

4. I am sometimes cruel, and you forgive me anyway.

5. I sometimes think you are funny, even when I don’t laugh out loud.

6. We both need encouraging words, opportunities for change, development of self, hope, grace, security, and empathy.

7. Marriage has rhythm; habitual patterns of behavior that are sometimes a blessing, and sometimes a curse.

8. There are sacrifices: yours and mine.

9. Laughter heals.

10. Sensory experiences enhance love (music, beautiful landscapes, savory foods, a gentle touch).

11. Love grows. On December 30, 1994, I did not think I could love anyone or anything more. I was wrong.

12. I sometimes don’t think it is funny, even when I do laugh out loud.

13. When we commit to marriage, we commit to changing ourselves and our understandings of the world; seeing them through the lens of another.

14. Six months of dating is not enough to know someone completely. Fifteen years is still just a beginning.

15. It is a gift to be able to go to sleep and wake up with a loved one. I will not take this for granted.